Becoming Whole: How to Map Your Parts

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

This is a sidebar to the 12 part Becoming Whole series

Introduction

In part 3 of this series we introduced the Internal Family Systems (IFS) model therapy three types of parts. One way of begin to get to know and become more familiar with your parts is through creating a map of them. As you’ll see below, your map can be more of a diagram or more of a work of art, but it will help you identify, visualize and understand the various parts that make up your internal system can help you get some perspective on who you are.

Your map will help you to engage with yourself more effectively and enhance your overall well-being and your work towards self-healing the more you work with it. Mapping your parts starts with identifying, categorizing and visualizing your parts. So, let’s get started…

Step 1: Identify Your Parts

The first step in creating an IFS parts map is to identify your parts. You may already be aware of some of your parts through therapy sessions or self-work. If not, take some time to reflect on the different aspects of your personality, emotions and behaviors. Some particularly common parts include:

• An Inner Critic: This part may be overly critical and judgmental, causing you to doubt yourself and feel inadequate. If there are frequently harsh words roaming around your mind, you might have one of these.
• A Caretaker or People Pleaser: This part may be overly focused on caring for others or just doing what they want too readily. You have a hard time saying, “No.” You sometimes do things for others at the expense of your own legitimate needs. If you frequently find yourself feeling exhausted, taken advantage of or feeling used, you might have one of these.
• A Perfectionist: This part may push you to be flawless in everything you do to prove your worth or avoid any opportunity for criticism or fault. This usually leads to feelings of stress and exhaustion. If you frequently find yourself trying to do everything just so and to exacting inhuman standards or avoiding getting started on a lot of things, you might have one of these.
• Other Parts: There are a great many other possible parts. You can get a sense of other parts you might have by paying more attention to your thoughts, feelings and actions in different situations. You may also get ideas by watching other people and noticing how their behavior reminds you of yourself sometimes. You can also find a variety of parts others have noticed or talked about listed and briefly described at the end of this article.

Step 2: Categorize Your Parts

Once you have identified some of your parts, it’s essential to categorize them according to their roles in your internal system. IFS therapy typically classifies parts into three categories:

1. Managers: These parts maintain control and order in your life, ensuring that your emotional pain remains hidden and manageable.
2. Exiles: These are vulnerable parts that have experienced pain or trauma and are often suppressed by other parts to protect you from emotional distress.
3. Firefighters: These parts react to emotional triggers by engaging in impulsive or destructive behaviors to distract you from your pain. Distractors are an often overlooked group of firefighter-like parts.

As you categorize your parts, consider how they interact with one another and what role they play in your overall mental and emotional well-being.

Step 3: Create Your Map

With your parts identified and categorized, it’s time to create your IFS parts map. You can use any medium you prefer, such as paper, a whiteboard or a digital tool. Start by drawing a circle in the center of your map to represent your Self — the core of your being, separate from your parts.

Next, draw smaller circles or shapes around the central circle to represent each of your parts. Label these shapes with the names of your parts and their roles (manager, exile, or firefighter). Arrange the parts according to their relationships and interactions. For example, you might place a firefighter part next to an exile part that it’s trying to protect.

Step 4: Reflect on Your Map

Once your IFS parts map is complete, take some time to reflect on what you’ve created. Consider the relationships between your parts and how they might be influencing your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Discuss your insights with your therapist (or particularly well trusted friends) to further explore these dynamics and develop strategies for healing. You can also journal about your further thoughts. You may want to refine and tweak your map after doing this. Consider you map an ongoing work in progress as you learn more about yourself and your inner relationships change, develop and evolve.

Some Parts that Might or Might not Be Familiar

You won’t have all of these parts, and you may well have others not mentioned here. This list is meant to help you explore yourself and inspire greater insight.

1. The Pleaser: This part seeks approval and validation from others, often at the expense of the person’s own needs and desires. It may lead to people-pleasing behaviors and difficulty setting boundaries.
2. The Procrastinator: This part avoids tasks or decisions that may be difficult or uncomfortable, leading to procrastination and feelings of guilt or anxiety.
3. The Worrier: This part is constantly anxious and preoccupied with potential dangers or problems, leading to excessive worrying and stress.
4. The Inner Child: This part represents the emotional and vulnerable aspects of a person’s childhood, often needing care, protection, and nurturing.
5. The Achiever: This part is highly driven and focused on success, which can lead to a strong work ethic but also the risk of burnout and neglecting other aspects of life.
6. The Controller: This part seeks to maintain control over situations and others, often manifesting as controlling or domineering behavior.
7. The Rebel: This part resists authority and rules, often engaging in rebellious or non-conformist behavior.
8. The Adventurer: This part seeks excitement, novelty and exploration, which can lead to a sense of curiosity and openness to new experiences but also a tendency towards impulsivity and risk-taking.
9. The Intellectual: This part values logic, reason, and intellectual pursuits, sometimes at the expense of emotional connections and self-awareness.
10. The Victim: This part feels powerless and overwhelmed by life’s challenges, often adopting a victim mentality and struggling to take responsibility for personal growth and change.
11. The Perseverer: This part is resilient and persistent, helping you to face challenges and overcome obstacles in life.
12. The Peacemaker: This part aims to maintain harmony and balance within relationships, sometimes by suppressing personal needs or opinions to avoid conflict.
13. The Dreamer: This part is imaginative and creative, often engaging in daydreams and fantasies as a means of escape or inspiration.
14. The Entertainer: This part seeks to make others laugh and feel good, using humor and charm to navigate social situations.
15. The Guardian: This part is protective and vigilant, looking out for potential threats to ensure the safety and well-being of oneself and loved ones.
16. The Organizer: This part is detail-oriented and skilled in planning, helping you to manage your time, resources and responsibilities effectively.
17. The Seducer: This part uses flirtation, charm, and manipulation to gain the attention, approval or affection of others.
18. The Skeptic: This part is cautious and questioning, often doubting new ideas or experiences until they have been thoroughly examined and evaluated.
19. The Perceiver: This part is intuitive and observant, able to sense underlying emotions and motivations in oneself and others.
20. The Healer: This part has a strong desire to help and heal, both emotionally and physically, often drawn to caregiving roles and empathic connections.
21. The Disciplinarian: This part is strict and self-disciplined, often imposing high standards and expectations on oneself in pursuit of personal growth and self-improvement.
22. The Escapist: This part seeks relief from stress, pain or boredom through various forms of escapism, such as substance use, excessive screen time or overindulgence in hobbies.
23. The Inner Advocate: This part supports and empowers you, encouraging self-confidence and standing up for your own needs and desires.

24. The Seeker: This part is driven by curiosity and a thirst for knowledge, always eager to learn, grow and explore new ideas and experiences.

25. The Nurturer: This part is empathetic and compassionate, providing care and support for both oneself and others in times of need.

26. The Detached Observer: This part maintains a sense of emotional distance and objectivity, allowing you to observe and analyze situations without becoming overwhelmed by emotions.

27. The Romantic: This part is idealistic and passionate, seeking deep emotional connections and pursuing love and affection.

28. The Realist: This part is pragmatic and grounded, focusing on practical solutions and assessing situations based on facts and evidence.

29. The Social Butterfly: This part thrives in social situations and is skilled at building relationships, networking and engaging with others.

30. The Introvert: This part prefers solitude and quiet reflection, often requiring time alone to recharge and process thoughts and emotions.

31. The Conflict Resolver: This part is skilled at navigating conflicts and finding solutions to problems that arise in interpersonal relationships.

32. The Boundary Setter: This part understands the importance of healthy boundaries and is assertive in establishing and maintaining them.

33. The Visionary: This part is future-oriented and can envision possibilities and potential, often inspiring and motivating others with their ideas and aspirations.

34. The Historian: This part remembers past experiences and uses them as a source of wisdom, learning, and guidance for future decision-making.

Although, IFS repeatedly points out that there are “No bad parts,” people still fall into the habit of viewing parts a bit negatively in general. To counteract this tendency, here is an additional selection of positive, helpful, or Self-supporting and life-enhancing common parts that can contribute to personal growth, resilience, and overall well-being:

1. The Self-Compassionate Part: This part encourages self-kindness, understanding and forgiveness, helping you to cultivate a healthy and balanced relationship with yourself.
2. The Encourager: This part offers motivation, support and a positive outlook, helping you to pursue your goals and overcome challenges.
3. The Resilient Part: This part enables you to adapt to change and bounce back from adversity, fostering a sense of inner strength and perseverance.
4. The Mindful Part: This part helps you to remain present and focused, cultivating mindfulness and awareness in your everyday life.
5. The Grateful Part: This part promotes an attitude of gratitude, helping you to appreciate the good things in life and fostering a sense of contentment and well-being.
6. The Creative Part: This part nurtures your imagination and artistic abilities, allowing you to express yourself through various forms of creativity and innovation.
7. The Problem Solver: This part is resourceful and solution-oriented, helping you to think critically, analyze situations and devise effective strategies to address challenges.
8. The Empathetic Part: This part allows you to connect deeply with others, understanding their emotions and perspectives and fostering strong, supportive relationships.
9. The Balanced Part: This part promotes harmony and equilibrium in your life, helping you to maintain a healthy balance between work, leisure, relationships and personal growth.
10. The Joyful Part: This part helps you to experience and embrace joy, laughter, and happiness, infusing your life with a sense of positivity and zest.
11. The Spiritual Part: This part nurtures your connection to something greater than yourself, whether through religion, spirituality or a sense of awe and wonder at the natural world.
12. The Altruistic Part: This part is focused on the well-being of others, motivating you to engage in acts of kindness, generosity, and service.

These positive and helpful parts can play a significant role in enhancing your overall well-being, self-awareness, and personal growth. By recognizing and nurturing these parts, you can create a more balanced and fulfilling internal system, allowing your true Self to shine through and guide you in living a more authentic and meaningful life alongside your other sometimes complicated, more difficult parts.